Til death do me apart
by Natta
Summary: Hermione has some problems, and when they cause her to be bullied by her fellow classmates, they multiply. Will anyone help her before it’s too late? Warning! Contains eating disorder anorexia and self harmself injury.
1. Prolouge

**Til death do me apart…**

Hermione has some problems, and when they cause her to be bullied by her fellow classmates, they multiply. Will anyone help her before it's too late? Warning! Contains eating disorder (anorexia) and self harm/self injury.

Disclaimer: Do anyone actually READ these things?

PROLOUGE

The numbers raced up as she stepped on the scales. Went slower. Became indecisive, fluttered back and forth. And decided. 54.3 kilos. She wasn't thin yet. With her 5'5 she needed to weigh 50 kilos to be underweight. Then she'd stop. She'd be happy.

"Hermione! Dinner!" her mom shouted from downstairs. It was the last night before she went back to Hogwarts and to be honest, she couldn't wait. Ron and Harry would probably bug her about food, but not as much as her parents did. Also, they didn't have the same kind of authority. Fortunately, Ana didn't exist in the wizard world. They wouldn't suspect anything.

She gave her tummy one last critical glance before she started going downstairs. Fat. Well, not obese, but far from perfection.

And perfection was the only thing good enough for Hermione Granger.

(A/N: Ok I know this was short but it's just a prolouge, please tell me what you think about it so I know whether to continue or not! Hope to get some more up soon!)


	2. The journey to Hogwarts

Til death do me apart… 

Hermione has some problems, and when they cause her to be bullied by her fellow classmates, they multiply. Will anyone help her before it's too late? Warning! Contains eating disorder (anorexia) and self harm/self injury.

Disclaimer: Everyone together now: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter, la la la…

Chapter 1 

**The journey to Hogwarts**

She quickly made her way onto platform 9 3/4. The train was leaving in only a few minutes. Her parents had given her a ride to the station and a chocolate cake to eat on the train. They never usually gave her things that were bad for your teeth. She'd just give it to Harry and Ron. They loved stuffing their faces.

She sighed when she thought about them. They were her best friends and yet… why did she always feel like the third wheel? It was always Harry and Ron, the golden duo… and her. Tag-along. Maybe she shouldn't sit with them today. She sat down silently in an empty compartment. Just after she entered Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson came and spread themselves out on the seats.

"Get out of here mudblood!" Draco smirked. Hermione walked out again. She didn't want a fight. She didn't know where to go now. The train had already started going, and all the students settled down in their compartments. She leaned against the door and looked at the cake. It looked so tasty, so inviting. But she shouldn't… she had a small bite.

"Look, the fatso is gonna stuff her face now," Pansy shrieked from behind the glass door Hermione was leaning against. Draco just laughed in reply. Hermione felt a stab in her gut and looked at her tummy. Huge. Enormous. She ran fast, looking for where Harry and Ron were. If she gave it to them it would soon be gone knowing them, and no longer a temptation. Besides, they should be wondering where she was by now.

She found them at last, happily chatting. Hermione's heart sank when she realised they hadn't even noticed she wasn't there. She slowly opened the door and slid in. They turned their heads and smiled.

"Pretending," Hermione thought.

"Hi," Harry said. He then turned back to Ron. "I can't wait for quidditch to start," he said. Ron nodded eagerly. This was their 6th year at Hogwarts, and both of them were on the Gryffindor team. Hermione stretched the cake their direction and Ron's face lit up.

"Wow, thanks Hermione!" He started eating and Harry did the same. Hermione felt better now that she was safe, temptation couldn't threaten her. Her hands went to her stomach as it made a noise. She'd thrown up most of her breakfast this morning and it was almost twelve o'clock. Harry looked at her.

"You hungry 'Mione?" he asked. "Why don't you have some cake?" She shook her head quickly.

"I just brushed my teeth before I left," she said, "and sugar's bad for them!" She said and flashed her white teeth. Ron gave her a sandwich.

"My mom gave me this, you can have it," he said. Hermione looked at it. It had a lot of salad on it, probably why Ron gave it away. Salad is good…but all that bread and butter? Still, she was very hungry. Maybe just a bit? No. She knew what'd happen. Once she got started she'd eat it all, along with sharing Harry's and Ron's candies. 100 calories. 200. 300, 400, 500. Or none at all. Better not to start.

"No thanks," she said simply, shoving aside the battered sandwich. "I'm saving myself for dinner." she explained. Harry and Ron nodded understanding. Who'd want to be full for the Hogwarts feast?

"Well," Hermione thought, "Harry and Ron never seem to be full, and yet they're both thin. It just isn't fair at all!" She sighed. They probably wouldn't even care if they did get fat.

"You look really thin 'Mione," Ron said suddenly. "Parents been starving ya?" Hermione failed to see the joke.

"Of course not Ronald! I've been cutting down on sweets, that's all," she said stiffly.

"Ok, ok," Ron said, obviously not wanting to take the matter any further. Hermione sat in silence while Ron and Harry chattered away for a good while, when suddenly the train came to a full stop.

They had arrived at Hogwarts!

A/N I hope you liked it everyone! Will try to update again ASAP!


	3. Friendship broken

They all sat down at the Gryffindor table just a second before the first years entered for the sorting process. It went by without any problems, but the big problem came after. The tables filled up with food, one tray more fat-filled than the other. Hermione panicked.

"I said I was keeping myself hungry for this," she thought, "so I can hardly claim I'm not hungry." Her stomach just wanted to throw the "wanting to be thin-thing" out the window and indulge in all the goodies. Hermione was very hungry.

"No!" She thought furiously, "I have to get out of here before I loose control!" She got an idea. She clamped her hand over her mouth as if she was gonna barf and ran out. Instead of going to the toilets though, she ran towards the dormitories. But when she got there, she realised she didn't know the new password. She slid down at the wall. She was up for a long wait.

A few days had passed and people had started to notice Hermione's eating habits. She wouldn't eat at mealtimes, and if she did, she went straight to the toilet after. Harry and Ron tried to talk to her about it but she would just snap at them and turn her back. They started spending less and less time with her. One day, she confronted them about it.

"Look," Harry said, "Er…Well…"

"You've been weird lately, and you're not the Hermione we were friends with," Ron said.

"So we thought…maybe we should take a break…" Harry added.

"You don't want to be friends anymore," Hermione said, trying to stop her lip from trembling.

"Of course we do!" Harry assured her. "We just…well…we're feeling really confused at how you've changed and…er…if we're not always together it would be easier to get used to it."

"Fine!" Hermione said with tears in her eyes. "I don't want to be friends with you anyway!" And she stormed off.

The next day Hermione didn't go to class. She couldn't stand seeing them sitting there, talking together, and not being a part of it. She said to Ginny that she was sick, and Ginny just nodded and went off to see her new boyfriend. Hermione tried to see the good side of things. If she had no friends, she had no one to nag her about eating. She spent all day in bed, reading her books. (She didn't want to get behind in class). At least it kept her mind off things.

At dinnertime, the door opened. Hermione looked up to see who it was, and was astounded at seeing professor McGonagall.

"Professor!" she stuttered, sitting herself up. McGonagall sat down on the side of the bed.

"Hermione, it would be very good if you could come down to dinner." She thought frantically on how to avoid it.

"Um…no I don't think so…bad stomach!" Hermione was sure she saw a flash of pain in her teacher's eyes as she nodded.

"All right Hermione…but…don't take it too far." And with that she left.

The next day Hermione had to go to class. The first class that day was potions. Perfect!

When she entered the classroom she had no idea where to sit. Harry and Ron were laughing quietly together. She looked around. Great – the only free spot was next to Malfoy. With a heavy heart she sat down next to him. Normally, her, Harry and Ron sat close together, but today, Neville was next to them. Malfoy glared at her. Suddenly, her stomach made a rumbling noise. Malfoy grinned and whispered something to Goyle who laughed out loud.

"Yeah! Fatso's hungry again!"

"Silence!" Snape said, but with a smirk on his face. "Miss Granger, maybe you could manage without eating until the end of the class?" Hermione's face went beat red. She hadn't eaten for over a day, that's why her belly was rumbling. But now everyone was going to think she was a greedy slob. She looked over at Harry and Ron to stop them from saying anything, it would only make things worse. It felt like a stab in her heart when she saw them still talking together, not paying any attention to her humiliation. Hermione felt like crying.

After what felt like the longest class ever Hermione ran out. Malfoy caught up with her and shouted;

"Hey! Mudblood!" she stopped. "I know what you're doing, you know," he said. "And I think it's hilarious. Fatso." Hermione saw Harry and Ron walk past and looked at them with pleading eyes. They met her gaze, but walked away. Hermione wanted to die. She was all alone.


	4. Another destructive habit

Til death do me apart…

Hermione has some problems, and when they cause her to be bullied by her fellow classmates, they multiply. Will anyone help her before it's too late? Warning! Contains eating disorder (anorexia) and self harm/self injury.

Hermione collapsed in bed exhausted after the worst day since she started Hogwarts. Malfoy had been bullying her the whole day, lots of his friends joining in, and no one had been there to defend her. She would have thought even if Harry and Ron ignored her, someone like Neville or Ginny would have helped out? But no. They pretended they didn't hear. Or maybe they didn't actually hear.

No one else was in the dormitories, everyone were down at dinner.

"I guess that's something," she said to herself, "no one here to make me feel worse." She curled up in a little ball and cried. She remembered how she'd been longing to go to Hogwarts, but now all she wanted was to go home. Her mum and dad nagged her about food constantly, but she realised now that was only because they loved her. They loved her enough not to give up on her when things got tough.

"Which is obviously something that can't be said about anybody at Hogwarts," she thought.

Or at least that's what Hermione thought. But in McGonagall's office, the normally so stern teacher was pacing restlessly around the room, mumbling to herself. In her hand was a photograph of Harry, Ron and Hermione in their second year. The photograph was courtesy of Colin Creevey (who else?), and she doubted any of the trio knew she had it.

She put the photo down, and took another one. This photo was of a girl around 14, in robes and a witch's hat. She was mounting a broom, and had a big smile on her face. Her long curly hair was black, and she was very pretty.

Tears started running down McGonagall's face.

Hermione looked at the time. Dinner would be coming to an end soon. She couldn't stand the thought that everyone soon would be returning. She crawled under the covers and screamed into the pillow. She heard a giggle behind her. She looked up and saw Parvati Patil standing there.

"What are you screaming about?" she asked scornfully.

"Nothing," Hermione lied, and turned her back on the gossip-loving girl.

"Fine. Oh just to let you know, Ron's dating Lavender now. I hope I can get my hands on Harry." Hermione scowled. She really didn't want to know this.

"I mean," Parvati continued, "I always used to think you'd end up with one of them, but it doesn't seem like that now, does it? It's funny, isn't it?" she said and gave a fake laugh.

"Hilarious," Hermione muttered. Parvati shrugged.

"Anyway, we're all going down to Hagrid's. Hagrid said to Harry to bring his friends up for tea. So me, Ron, Harry and Lavender are going. See you later. She walked out. Hermione snorted.

"I doubt Hagrid expected them two to come," she said to herself. It hurt though, that she wasn't invited. Well, Hagrid would have thought she'd come…and she knew Harry and Ron didn't see her as a friend anymore. But it still hurt. It hurt a lot actually.

Hermione turned on her back. It felt as if there was a beast inside of her, struggling to get out. She just couldn't lay still. Apart from her aching belly, it was something going on inside her, and she'd do anything to get it to stop. Suddenly she saw a little piece of glass laying on the floor, probably the remains of a broken bottle or drinking glass. She picked it up.

"This could be dangerous, someone could cut themselves on it," she muttered and went to throw it away. As she was about to drop it out of her hand, she stopped and looked at it for a second. Then, as if it wasn't her own actions, she pushed and dragged it across her arm. A small red line appeared and a few small drops of blood trickled out. It didn't hurt much and stopped bleeding very fast, but she felt relief wash over her. She quickly did it again. And again. And again. Soon she had several red lines, none of them bleeding much at all. She felt much better, it even seemed to help with her hunger.

Instead of throwing the piece of glass away, she slipped it in her pocket.

"Who knows?" she thought, "maybe this piece of glass cares more about me than anyone else."


	5. A veil of darkness

Hermione had a new ritual now, eat no lunch, purge after dinner and cut her arms at night. She was still only using the piece of glass, but was wanting something more. Eating at dinner made her body think she was full even though she threw up after. It also made people think she was eating. It didn't make the bullying stop though. It turned out that the only reason the slytherins didn't bully her before (well they did, but not to this extent) was that Harry and Ron, well mainly Harry, had been her friends.

"I guess the fact that Harry did all those things and that he's Dumbledore's favorite kept them away," she thought, "or maybe just the fact that I had friends."

It seemed all her friends had abandoned her, not just Harry and Ron. Neville was probably too scared as he didn't want to be a target for the slytherins. Ginny, well Ginny was so caught up with boys she didn't notice stuff that went on around her. And Luna, she was bullied too. She hadn't said anything, but she was safer with Harry and Ron than with Hermione.

"I don't want friends anyway," Hermione thought, trying to be brave. "Friends would just fuss over my eating. It might be nice with someone to talk to now and then but…no. It's not worth it.

She went into the dormitories. The gryffindor girls didn't bully her, but they didn't talk to her either. You could probably say they ignored her. She didn't know which was worse. At least they didn't stare. She proceeded towards the bathroom to cut her arms again. She put the glass to her arm and sighed. It just didn't help anymore. She needed something better. But how would she get it? And what would she get? She left the bathroom heavy at heart. She went to bed even though the other girls' silent despise echoed and bounced off the walls, slapping her face.

She closed her eyes and forced out the awareness of the gazes upon her back of her head. She knew they talked about her. About how pathetic she was. Maybe a word of pity left someone's lips. But they never reached her ears.

A/N Sorry it was short! I'll try to make it longer next time!


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